I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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