Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
