The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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