they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
