After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
