then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
