first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
