Pants 0. Shit 1.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
