yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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