whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
