maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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