I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
