Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am available for nakedness
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
