well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
