Do you still have your period?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
