The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
