Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
