just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
