I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
