If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
