Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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