is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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