I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
