worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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