Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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