So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm both gender and math confused
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