if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
