and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
