is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I cut my penus on the lid.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
