And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
