He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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