Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The adults are the big ones right?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
