have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
