how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
