Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize