OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
