woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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