dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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