She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
