guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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