You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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