You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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