i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
only you would photoshop your dick
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize