I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
