On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
