I heard we made out
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You ruined the universe
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
