We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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