i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
