It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
