idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
it glows. i had to have it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
