The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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