yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
