am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
