mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
