Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm at about main and main street
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
