Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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