Non-Jews are for practice
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
