we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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