You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
