the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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