im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
This house was built for laser tag.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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